I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
