just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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