She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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