oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
