we made out on top of his cat.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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