it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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