My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
