I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
