u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
