I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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