Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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