just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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