I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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