He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize