yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize