i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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