first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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