I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
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I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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