I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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