don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
