At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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