Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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