p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
