With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
