i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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