There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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