Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
