I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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