Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
