He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
the raccoons are back...
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