Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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