So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
