Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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