Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
