Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
