wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
