We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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