weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
