Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
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the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
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Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....