I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry