paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.