He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask