Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
