it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Drake has all the answers
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I need water and some morals
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
