I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i am craving dick and cupcakes
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
