..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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