I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
