I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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