i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
