got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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