I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
