Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
