he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
