Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
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I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
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When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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