I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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