apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
