Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
