Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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