hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.