New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
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Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????