I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
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walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms