Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day

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  (818): Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day http://tfl.nu/fmn0
  Replies (20) Good night (786) Bad night (2561)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.

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  (412): I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship. http://tfl.nu/nd0o
  Replies (20) Good night (2884) Bad night (755)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator

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  (503): The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator http://tfl.nu/5qfu
  Replies (37) Good night (647) Bad night (5419)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg

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  (612): Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg http://tfl.nu/5ras
  Replies (19) Good night (911) Bad night (3841)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.

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  (512): he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak. http://tfl.nu/trp5
  Replies (151) Good night (1029) Bad night (4301)
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  (845): View more from New York

  i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room

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  (845): i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room http://tfl.nu/beeq
  Replies (13) Good night (1005) Bad night (3523)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.

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  (973): That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this. http://tfl.nu/9yd7
  Replies (10) Good night (2048) Bad night (968)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.

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  (307): He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment. http://tfl.nu/tvxk
  Replies (1) Good night (1253) Bad night (2508)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them

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  (602): One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them http://tfl.nu/t9s2
  Replies (8) Good night (3448) Bad night (1091)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.

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  (423): Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this. http://tfl.nu/rnqg
  Replies (12) Good night (2848) Bad night (800)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.

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  (847): When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody. http://tfl.nu/5cds
  Replies (3) Good night (1838) Bad night (574)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.

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  (706): It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later. http://tfl.nu/oph9
  Replies (0) Good night (824) Bad night (918)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."

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  (603): I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses." http://tfl.nu/iu6o
  Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (320)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year

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  (954): I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year http://tfl.nu/gvu4
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (298)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.

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  (810): My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures. http://tfl.nu/8ycu
  Replies (1) Good night (813) Bad night (297)

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