All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
