Is it normal to miss your booty call?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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