You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
